I entitle this post "Prayer" specifically because that is what I am asking for. Prayer, support, comfort... etc etc. At the end of July 2010 my dad was diagnosed with End Stage Renal Failure aka his kidneys don't work. So, he went through numerous surgeries at first and we're still working out all the kinks but he is at home, in the comfort of his own home where he can do his dialysis treatments each night. I ask for prayer, because he's miserable. Day after day I sit by and watch my dad and wonder, "Is this going to be a bad day? a really bad day? or a horrible day?" Note that not once did I say "good day", I have come to the conclusion that as long as my dad is on dialysis, there will be no such day. He is constantly sick all the time and can't keep anything that he eats down. It's like clock work, he'll eat a meal, and then not even an hour later he'll be running to the bathroom. I usually hear him throughout the night as well. His color is bad, his eyes are starting to sink really bad, there is no conversing with the man anymore, I gave that up a long time ago.
I not only ask for prayer for my dad but for me as well. I am with my dad day in day out. I am here for him when he needs me, and disappear when I notice that anything I do is upsetting him. I know the things he says to me he doesn't mean, because I know when he doesn't feel well he is in a bad mood. So imagine that, 24/7 bad attitude. He has made me cry several times from the things that he says to me, but like I said, I know he doesn't mean them. I know he is hurting and I wish there was something I could do to help.... but wait.... there is....
Starting Jan 17th I undergo testing to see if I am a donor match for my father. I have prayed about this decision for months on end. I know there is the possibility of me some day needing both my kidneys, or not being able to have my own children if I go through with this, but I have come to terms and I know that my future lays in God's hands. I'm nervous and a little frightened but I know what I'm doing. There is the chance that I may not be a perfect match for my dad. If that is the case I told him that I am in this with him for the long haul. Methodist hospital has what is called "SWAP" otherwise known as the Donor Exchange Program. If I am not a match for my dad but still eligible to donate a kidney, they will find a donor/recipient pair whose donor matches my dad and I match their recipient. And we would all have surgery simultaneously. But, there is always the possibility that I may be rejected.
So again, pray, pray that if I am approved that things go smoothly, and pray that if I am rejected that I will be okay with the rejection. I know this all is upon God, and what happens is because he can see my future. But in the end, I still want to do everything possible to help my dad get better.
My last prayer request is for the person who has to sit with me on the 17th. I will be fasting for certain tests and will have not have had caffeine for 48hrs. So I will be extremely hungry and grumpy and possibly have a caffeine headache. Pray I don't bite their head off :-)
In the end, just keep your thoughts and prayers on my family as we continue to trek along this difficult journey.
I will be praying you as you undergo these tests, as well as your Dad as he goes through what he faces. I pray for peace and love, and that you feel God's hand with you wherever you go.
ReplyDeleteAmanda