I have decided this is going to be my space, my go to place, my area where I can say whatever I want whenever I want. As 2010 comes to a close, I realize that A) I am no where near being where I hoped I would be in life B) I'm slightly pathetic in that I was the kid that moved home after graduating and has yet to leave my parents house and C) I want A & B to change... dramatically change. Not just yay! get a new job or a job for that matter, but in the sense of landing "THE" first job and getting out from under my parents' wings and being able to find myself again. Yes, that is right, I said find myself again.
When I left for college I did what every other student did. Partied their butts off, hardly went to class, and made a ton of friends. Later, I grew up a bit, I found my niche. I realized that school was truly important and that sometimes I had to say, "No, I can't tonight I have to (fill in total lame adult excuse here)". Having said that, I became the person who I was when I graduated. That girl (or I guess I should say woman) has run away... disappeared into oblivion... vanished... Anyway, wherever she went, I am highly determined to find her again. This woman was accomplished, had visions, even daydreams, had goals, had a handle on life, and even though no one is truly finished growing, she was the right track. But I feel like after a few months home I took like eleventy billion (yes that is made up) steps backwards. I know I can't totally blame myself for that, things happened, serious life changing things, so, instead of being the turtle I was when I first moved home with my head out of my shell as far as it would go looking and applying to multiple jobs daily, I retrieved my head and hid it in my shell to take care of things at home. I am coping every day with what has happened to my family, but I have realized, the storm is as calm as it is going to get for the time being and it's time to stick my head back out there. I mean I'm 25 years old and I haven't had a job in over a year for crying out loud?!?!
**For those who venture to read this post, it's not like I haven't applied, because I have, hundreds of jobs, and in a year I have only had 4 interviews. And it is always the same things "You aren't qualified", "You don't have enough experience", "We can't afford to pay you at a BS degree level", etc. etc. YES-- I even said I don't care about the pay! I just want a job!**
There are several things I want to change in my life; job status, living arrangements, like most women my weight, and a handful of other things that are a little more personal.
This blog is going to be my journey... for 2011 I will take note of things that I have done to move forward in life. Sure it's like a Bridget Jone's Diary kinda thing, and maybe you can call me a copy cat, but whatever. I will vent, I'm sure I will cry (for those who don't know me I am a highly emotional person. I cry... a LOT!), I will maybe even tell you more about my boring life then I had planned. So watch out, there may be an exciting tid bit here and there.
So, fellow bloggers, I now will bid you goodnight.
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